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In honor of turning 24 this week, I decided to create a list of 24 of the most important life lessons I have learned (and fervently believe).
Keep reading for an extremely real, comprehensive list of life lessons that will definitely help you in your personal development journey.
24. Self-Care is Productive
We don’t realize how hard it is to take out time and work on ourselves. We think it’s easy… or for the ‘weak’ or maybe not something that is so important.
But if you have done NOTHING the past month, no job, no social commitments… If you have JUST stayed at home, and worked on yourself, that’s huge. That is an investment you have made. If you feel 10% more positive or calm, if you figured out a routine that works for you, if you journaled day in and out and just feel more positive, if you created a great habit or broke one… if you did ANY of this (or something different), I am proud of you.
People don’t say this enough. We measure each other’s success with money, fame, numerical metrics. Jobs done, businesses created, profit, grades in school, how many skills you have… and that’s why we don’t even bother about our mental health.
But if you took even a year off, to just focus on yourself and feel better, that is an ACHIEVEMENT. A bigger one than most other things.
So, self-growth is fucking productive. Don’t ever feel bad that you ‘did nothing’ if you changed your neurological patterns (aka brain habits) for the better.
23. Getting to Know Yourself is Glorious!
Understanding yourself is crucial. It is important to have a sound understanding of your personality type, how much you can work, when you are most productive, what makes you feel good, if you are an introvert or extrovert, etc. There are so many personality tests to take. You can also spend time with yourself every day, journaling, about what went well in the day and what didn’t. This way you will be able to understand patterns in your reactions, work, and behaviour.
a. With this knowledge, you will be able to create a much more beautiful life for yourself as you intentionally create situations that are good for you and avoid things that don’t work for you.
b. When you know yourself, and you react in a way you didn’t want to, you will be able to forgive yourself, or at least know WHY you reacted that way. For example, if you know you are introverted, and snap after a 10-day long holiday with friends, instead of hating yourself for being a terrible human, you will understand why you did that and forgive yourself. (Also, if you know you are an introvert you would probably avoid this holiday).
22. Embrace ALL Emotions (even bad ones)
If you bottle up negative emotions, they will stay and grow bigger. Think of a lump. It grows bigger and bigger, making you more bitter. And one day, it will explode.
So, let yourself feel all your emotions. If you feel sad, let yourself be sad. If you feel angry, be angry.
The key, however, is not to stay there. Let the emotions pass through and then move on.
Again, Sara Longoria explains this amazingly well in her free 5 Day Rapid Manifestation Method Course. She talks about the terrible effects that repressing emotions can have on your physical and mental health. But then she teaches you how to let the emotions pass, without releasing them out on others.
The most important thing! Stop hating on yourself. You are a cute human doing your best! Stop saying mean things to yourself like “you are ugly, you are fat, you are a failure”. Positive self-talk is a MUST for a healthy success mindset. Would you tell a child all this? No, because that would scar them and completely demotivate them. Similarly, encourage yourself and love yourself like you would a child.
Read: 10 practical ways to love yourself more (all internal)
20. Judging Hurts You More Than Others
a. Everyone has a story, and everyone has problems, even if you can’t see them. You have no idea what someone is going through. An overweight girl might be struggling for years with depression. A rich celebrity might have had an abusive childhood. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. So don’t judge. It isn’t fair.
b. When you judge others, you are telling yourself that judging is normal. Indirectly, you are telling yourself that people are judging YOU, too. And that radically lowers your self-confidence!
c. The more you judge others, the more you will feel judged. If you are okay with others just being their weird selves, then when YOU are being weird, you will be confident about it!
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19. Routines are Rad
Good habits, like meditating, journaling, exercising, etc, are much easier to establish if you have a routine. Your brain likes patterns, and it makes it easier for you to actually follow through. It is like muscle memory – your brain automatically starts the good habits because it is used to it. Because of that, there is much less motivation you need to do these ‘tasks’.
Routines are calming and help reduce anxiety. Knowing exactly what you are going to do next, or how you are going to spend the first hour of your day is very comforting. You don’t need to start thinking and questioning and second-guessing if this activity is productive/good/helpful/blah blah. You know what you do and you can flow easily between tasks.
If you want to create the perfect routine, stop trying to follow others’ routines. Get inspired, but at the end, look inwards, because the perfect one for YOU is unique to you. To help you figure it out, you can get this free workbook.
18. Connect with Nature
Nature makes you feel amazing. It is scientifically proven to reduce stress and improve well-being.
Nature is this silent, beautiful companion that teaches you so much – its intricacy, its beauty, its serenity are all learning points.
17. Tapping is Tantalizing
Recently, I have started tapping. I learned this technique from Sara Longoria (she is GOLD) in her free 5 Day Rapid Manifestation Method Course, and it really helps. I was quite uncertain about it, but SO much shit comes up. Like I didn’t even realize how triggered I get over every small thing… that’s when you have to think, why? Why are you getting triggered? What is bothering you? What is the root cause
But it doesn’t end there. Just thinking about it doesn’t get it OUT. Her tapping method has REALLY helped me get a handle on my emotions, and every time I feel annoyed, angry, or irritated, I am no longer going down the self-hate path thinking “I am such a terrible person, I should be kinder, more patient, etc”. Basically, she explains really well, that we are human. We will be triggered. We will be emotional and annoyed illogically at times. And that is okay! (as long as you don’t let it out on others). But feel that annoyance, and then move through it.
16. Perfectionism is Pointless
a. Nothing is perfect: no routine, no secret route to success, no body, no human being. So stop trying to make anything perfect.
b. You will never be perfect (sorry). But we have established that nothing is perfect, so it is FINE.
c. Imperfect, messy action is BETTER than no action! Perfectionism can cripple you and lead to procrastination. Instead, just take the first step.
15. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude
14. Good Fences Make Good Neighbors
Being “selfish” and taking time off to take care of yourself, whether that is saying no to people, switching off your phone, or deciding to sit alone and read instead of socializing with friends or family can actually be the best thing you do for others.
If you are constantly saying yes to others and have no boundaries, eventually you will build resentment against your loved ones (or your work). Saying “yes” will be more of a chore than an authentic desire to spend time with someone.
Honoring yourself and being a little “selfish” results in much healthier relationships.
13. Meditation is a Must
Meditation is amazing, and here is a list of 12 science-based benefits of mediation. But I want to get personal. For me, meditation has really helped in the following ways:
a. First, it calms you down. When I am anxious or have a million thoughts buzzing around in my head, stressing me out, meditation is the ideal way to help quiet my monkey-mind. It has helped prevent a panic attack SO many times.
b. Secondly, it helps you let go of your negative emotions. This really works because an emotion only lasts 90 seconds. So if you are feeling angry or sad, and you sit down and focus on your breath for a few minutes, that emotion will pass through your body. If you keep focusing on it, you are just giving it more life.
12. Look for the Silver-Lining
Looking for the good in dark times makes you stronger instead of breaking you. By finding the growth opportunity in bad situations, you can stay positive instead of being sucked into negativity.
If you want to be happy, appreciate the small things. You can have everything, but if you don’t know how to appreciate it, there is no happiness.
Just be. Don’t keep working or rushing, but take some time to be mindful, and connect with yourself and your surroundings. Use your senses to FEEL and Experience each moment.
Read: how to slow down for busy people
10. Baby Steps Are Big
9. Live for Yourself
Forget showing off. Forget about doing things to please others. Forget about being the perfect human, the good human, the rich human, the successful human. Live for YOU, whether that means you want to become an astronaut or a fossil scientist or a model.
Whether you want to party on Saturday nights till 7 am or sleep at 8 pm, do YOU.
Wear what you want, whether it is in fashion or not. Be weird. Be unique.
People always judge, people always have their opinions and suggestions and their ideas about the “right” way. But that doesn’t matter. True happiness comes from doing what lights you up and is best for you – so I would suggest not partying every weekend till 7 am, but if your body is resilient and it brings you a lot of joy, then GO FOR IT!
8. Exercise is Euphoric
a. Getting your heart rate up is amazing. Sure, it is good for your body too, but it makes you feel ALIVE. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins, that make you feel GREAT (runner’s high). Your body also releases dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, all of which are happy hormones.
b. Additionally, if your body is healthy, then your brain will be healthy too, making you a lot happier. A lot of diseases result in mood swings, etc. because when your body isn’t healthy, the happy hormones aren’t produced correctly.
7. Walk the Talk
Without action, nothing happens. You can dream big – and you SHOULD – but you need to take action. You can tell everyone about your goals and plans, but without ACTION, it is nothing.
Some ideas to take action:
- Make a list of what you can do to achieve your goals. Now cross off everything except the top 3-5 priority tasks. And start. You can use one of these top 10 productivity tools to help you get more done.
- Get an accountability partner.
- Create a reward jar where you put some money each time you finish your task, and then treat yourself with that money!
6. Carry Confidence
5. Balance is Badass
Balance is key in life. The Greeks had it right when they said “moderation is best in all things.” Like dessert, good food, and wine, etc, everything in life should be taken in balance.
Work will give you a purpose along with a sense of fulfillment and achievement. However, working too much is going to lead to burnout and an unhappy lifestyle.
Similarly, taking a break to play around with your dog or take a spontaneous trip to the beach is good and healthy, but not something you can do all the time. Some structure is required… and necessary. But this structure will make you feel better. The structure will push you to get enough sleep, stay clean, get enough work done, and more.
Discipline is the crucial ingredient in the universal success formula. If you have discipline, you can be more productive, you can learn a new skill, you can workout, you can do anything! You can work on your physical, mental, or emotional well-being!
But discipline is also another thing you have to learn first. It is like case 0. Practice discipline so that you have more discipline and it is easier to practice (and ultimately achieve) other things. Does that make sense?
Check out this article for 6 simple ways to master discipline.
Envy is pointless for a lot of reasons.
a. Firstly, it just makes you feel bad about yourself and puts you in a negative mindset. Which does NOT result in good things, success, and inspiration.
b. Secondly, when you are in this negative mindset, you won’t be able to concentrate on YOUR best.
c. Thirdly, you can’t compare your journey to someone else’s. You can’t compare your weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. You can’t compare their middle to your beginning.
d. Fourthly, you will end up adopting some of their characteristics, even if you do it without realizing. If you are jealous of someone, then you might start painting like them, or dressing like them, or writing like them. But that takes away from YOUR masterpiece. And it will probably be worse because you are now a knock-off Gucci bag when you could have been an ORIGINAL Louis Vuitton.
2. Positive Mindset is Paramount
This is something I really have picked up on over the past year. I see so many amazing women (and men) who limit themselves and their potential.
They think their dreams sound too good to be true, or they just push off actually working on them indefinitely.
But I say, dream big! Don’t limit yourself! If you hear yourself saying “I can’t do this” for ANYTHING, ask “why?” Get to the root cause. More often than not, it will lead you to a limiting belief like “I am not good enough” or “it is impractical”.
If you have an idea, go for it. If you want to start a side-hustle, do it! Think as if anything is possible. And then make it happen.
1. Mental Health is for Everyone!
a. Everyone has to take care of their mental health. Mental health is no different than physical health. You have to work on it daily, and maintain it. Like exercising daily, eating healthy food, drinking water, taking pills, you have to take care of your mental health every day.
b. Everyone goes to the doctor. That isn’t labeled ‘weak’. Just like that, everyone can and SHOULD go to a therapist! If you break your leg, it is normal to take painkillers and use a crutch. Likewise, if you are feeling mentally low, make it normal to speak to a counsellor or take a day off.
c. Everyone can use therapy, because everyone has a brain that was shaped and molded and affected in their childhood. Everyone has issues in their brain, and certain filters through which they see the world that can be unnecessarily negative.
What was the most helpful lesson for you?
Save it for later! 🙂
Fantastic thanks ❤️
thank you!
Such a lovely and wholesome article. Loved it ♥️
Thank you! really glad you liked it!
Great tips! Will have to work on #11?
I agree with so many of these. I love the Perfection is pointless, that one is my favorite 🙂
So glad this resonated with you! 🙂
First thing first, happy 24th birthday!!!
I, too, celebrated my birthday this month on the 9th.
Sharing this post is necessary because who we are becoming impacts, other people. It’s dope to have a platform to highlight and be transparent about the lessons you’ve learned. Number 21 hits home for me because this was one of the things I lacked most as a woman in my early 20’s…
Once again, happy birthday!!
Thanks a lot! Happy belated birthday to you to! 🙂
I am so glad you liked this post! Thanks!
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