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“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli
Sometimes there is just too much to do. A thousand plans, a long to-do list, too many things to prioritize.
Now imagine, if in your perfectly planned list and life, in the end, life happens and things don’t go your way. How can you let go of control?
Sometimes it feels like I am whirring about in my head trying to catch my own tail. Every minute is planned to the tee, and if there is any delay, I get anxiety attacks. My heart races, my arms feel numb, and I get dizzy. Does anyone else relate?
One day, I was heading home, still not done with the day’s work, which meant I planned to reach home and work. There were a thousand bees buzzing with different tasks and thoughts in my head. How will I get everything done? Will I be able to get to bed on time? If not, how will I have enough energy to work tomorrow? Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts…
Anxious to get home quickly and get to work, I twiddled my thumbs (jk I don’t do that) and ran over my to-do list in my head for the millionth time (i do that).
How to crush a MAJOR source of anxiety by taking a break from this one thing!
But, lo and behold, there was a crazy thunderstorm and there was no electricity light at home.
No electricity meant no internet, no laptop (out of charge), and my phone which was about to die.
Now, what could I have done in this situation? And more importantly, what can you do when shit just doesn’t go your way, and you need to work?
Well, I forced myself to stop overworking and filling up my to-do list.
Note: Learning to let go of control was extremely challenging for a workaholic like me!
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When something unplanned happens that disturbs your schedule, the first step is to determine: can you do something about it?
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
For example, if your friends decided to come over all of a sudden, and you had work, could you try to say no to them?
Or, in my situation, could you go out and find somewhere else to work?
If yes, then go ahead!
But sometimes an option isn’t available. Maybe your laptop died and your charger broke and it is too late for a store to be open. Or maybe your friend went through a break up and needs you to talk to her for three hours. Or maybe your parents have an emergency. There are some situations you just can’t really do anything about. In that case, you need to learn to let go of control.
But HOW?
Pin for Later! 🙂
Questions to Ask When Life Happens and You Need to Let Go of Control
Think about it. Assess the work in your head. Ask these questions:
1. Will this task make a difference to you in a month?
Will what you are freaking out about add up to something? Or will it just be another piece of unimportant busy work? If you realize that the work was actually not a life-or-death situation (which it never really is), you will realize:
A. The work was pointless anyways, and
B. You can take a break even if you don’t want to, and there won’t be any negative consequences.
2. Have you really accomplished as little as you make yourself to believe?
Is it possible that you have actually gotten more done today than you let yourself believe? Maybe you overlook some tasks as menial or pointless, but they are still work.
Acknowledge that you are probably an overachiever. You might be such a perfectionist and overachiever that you think you never accomplish anything.
If that sounds like you, accept that you have unrealistic standards for yourself and you need to CHILL OUT.
3. Have you already done the best you could today?
A lot of times we don’t realize how hard we have worked. We don’t give ourselves enough credit.
Consider, have you put your best today? Have you worked hard, gone the extra mile, and pushed yourself?
In that case, you need to loosen up, relax, and realize that even though you think you are a machine, you aren’t. If you did your best, and something is still pending on your to-do list, just let it go.
3 Lessons When Things Don’t Go Your Way
Why it can be better to let go of control
Now, hopefully you have realized that you are panicking over nothing, you feel like you haven’t done enough when you have done a lot, or that you did your best. So now, if shit goes down, it doesn’t matter, right?
You can let go of control.
Maybe the universe let shit happen because of a reason. Maybe fate (or the universe, or what have you) planned this diversion because:
- You need a break; you are overburdening yourself and on the path to burnout.
- A better outcome will come, or something better will happen.
- You need to let go of holding your goals and plans and schedules so tightly.
So now, EMBRACE this diversion. Loosen up your tight muscles. Daydream. Talk. Do nothing. Zone out. Love yourself. Forget about your work! It will be there tomorrow too. But these moments that you are wasting worrying won’t ever come back. So if life happens and work just isn’t happening, let go of control. Stop trying to be productive all the time.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, life happens. There will always be situations you can’t control. Breathe through it. Anxiety and stress is almost never helpful (unless you are in a life-or-death situation like running away from a tiger). Trust the process of life. Work through whatever you can, but let go of the things you just can’t control.
Bonus: REAL help when you are wondering how to move on when life throws shit at you.
Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever need to let go of control over your schedules and to-do list? Do you plan too much work on your to-do list and then freak out when there is a disturbance and life happens?
Pin for Later! 🙂
I really saw myself in your second point. I am trying to do everything perfectly, I started a blog recently and I am freaking out as I am not sure how everything works and my blog is actually not perfect but right now I am trying a lot of things that are outside of my comfort zone.
Me too! (as in it has been a 1.5 months since I began my blog but i still feel like a beginner). All the best to you! Don’t worry, try your best, and then take time to rest!
Needed this post! Thank you!
glad to know it helped! <3
Oh, I needed to hear this! Thank you for sharing 🙂 Love your writing style!
thank you! So glad you liked it <3
Great read! I certainly struggle with this and sometimes I need a reminder that it’s okay to take a break. Thanks for sharing!
I’m so glad you liked it. In this fast-paced era, taking a break for your mental health is crucial! Sending love and energy to you!
Wonderful points! This is so true- and harmful for women with children!!
thanks! That is true!
This really hit home. I will need to add this to my mindfulness and make sure I’m not being needlessly hard on myself.
Hannah Siller recently posted…Poetry Blog Edition: Alone
So glad this could help you out! <3
Great read. Thanks for sharing!
you’re welcome!
This was such a beneficial reminder, especially today, as I was experiencing panic related to work! I really appreciate your vulnerability and openness in this. And the tips were so helpful!
thank you! i am so glad it resonated with you! i hope you are doing better <3
I can totally relate to this! I’m guilty of working a little too much that I forget to just be and relax. So thank you for this reminder ✨?
you’re so welcome! we bloggers always forget to relax a bit <3
I really needed to read this post today. I’ve been struggling with the need to get things done and be productive and feeling overwhelmed and anxious when things get in the way. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!
im so glad it could help you! You got this! <3
I really needed to read this today. I have been in overdrive for so long and my chill needs a chill. Thank you for permission to self care. ?❤️
Yay! I am SO happy this inspired you to take care of yourself! Sending love and positive vibes!
Letting go a surrendering is such a powerful, yet difficult practice sometimes. Love how you laid this all out.
Nathalia | NathaliaFit – Fitness & Wellness Blog
http://www.nathaliafit.com
Nathalia recently posted…How to Practice Yoga at Home and Make it a Habit
That is true! But often what is difficult makes us improve! glad to know you liked it 🙂
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I’ve definitely felt that guilt and anxiety over not doing what I thought I would. To do lists can be very helpful but sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves.
Katrina recently posted…100 Productive Things to do at Home
I agree! To-do lists can be helpful to ease our stress, but at the same time they add to stress 😀
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