3 Myths About Productivity and Self-Love – Are the Two Mutually Exclusive?

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You might think self-love is something like this: “oh, it is okay if you choose to do nothing and be lazy” and that self-care is just an excuse for putting on face masks and procrastinating. But are compassion and discipline mutually exclusive? 

 

To answer that, I want to point out a few myths about productivity and self-love:

1. You Only Deserve to Celebrate If You Finish Your To-Do List

2. Self-Care is Easy

3. Tough Love Leads to Success

 

I am going to be a bit more raw and honest, and share a bit about my day yesterday.

 

Well, I was exhausted. I woke up and I scheduled my entire day, from 11 am to 12 am – 13 hours. Of course, that included time to journal, walk, exercise, relax, etc. Nevertheless, it was taxing. And I ended up doing a lot.

 

Don’t have time right now? Save it for later! 

3 Myths About Productivity and Self-Care (1) (1)

3 Myths About Productivity & Self-Love

1. Myth: You Only Deserve to Celebrate If You Finish Your To-Do List

Reality: Life will never go according to your schedule, so celebrate what you did!

During my day, a million (okay like 5) things came up. Work-related calls from people, a last-minute meeting, some other work. Extra things that took up a lot of my time.

 

Just like that, things will come up for you. I can guarantee, life will never go according to your schedule. If you are a planner like me, you will find that hard to digest. I understand.

 

But the good thing is that once you know that, you can stop being so hard on yourself. Learn to be flexible even if you can’t finish everything or if your day didn’t go according to you.

 

Why? Because it is an important skill, because like I said, life will always throw you curveballs, and the better you can handle them, the more you will succeed.

 

So when life throws you a curveball, celebrate your win! It isn’t easy!

 

For example, I did a lot but I didn’t finish my to-do list. I could choose to agonize over my uncompleted tasks, or I could celebrate how much I got done! So, I chose the latter and felt great about myself.

 

Note: This isn’t an excuse to slack off. I knew I worked hard, and that is why I allowed myself to accomplished. If you are lazy and making up excuses for not finishing you to-do list, I would recommend a bit more discipline.

 

Note 2: Sometimes, certain tasks will take more time than you thought. In that case, rather than resorting to the limiting belief: “I am so slow” or “I can’t do anything”, assess the situation objectively. Did you focus 100%? If not, what was affecting your focus? Can you change that?

 

Example: If you are distracted by a noisy background and can’t focus, you can listen to instrumental music to help you focus. If you are too sleepy, drink a cup of coffee. 

 

Or, maybe you had laser-focus and it still took you longer. In that case, keep it in mind for when you schedule the same task again.

 

But notice, in neither one of the situations do you start blaming yourself. Either accept the problem, or try to fix it.

 

Read: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Can’t Finish Your To-Do List

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2. Myth: Self-Care is Easy

Reality: True Self-Care Isn’t Always Easy

But I honoured myself and took a break, choosing things that are good for you. Instead of binge watching Netflix, I chose to read and journal. Instead of munching on desserts, I chose tea. Instead of staying up, I chose to sleep.

 

I want to overcome this myth that self-care is all easy and just an excuse to put on face masks and be lazy.

Most of the time, you have to be intentional about self-care. It is like taking care of a child.

You feed kids at the right time. But you also say no to excessive deserts and midnight snacks. You let them watch TV, but you want them to read books, too. You bathe them, dress them up, make them look nice. You make them do some work but you balance that with play. And then, you put them to bed.

All of that isn’t necessarily “easy”. You could just let them roll around and eat candy and Doritos and watch TV all day and night.

 

We aren’t so different. Self-care isn’t doing the easy thing, like eating candy and Doritos while watching TV all day. If you worked really hard and just need that for a bit, sure. But self-care is actually nourishing your body and mind with things that you might not want to do, but you know will help you feel much better in the long run.

 

Hence, self-care is very intentional. Choosing to make time for journaling. Choosing to make time for meditating when you would rather scroll through Instagram. Choosing to take a walk instead of watching TV. Choosing to cook food instead of getting McDonalds.

 

Hope this motivates you to start taking care of yourself more!

Evening routine with tea
true self-love isn't easy

3. Myth: Tough Love Leads to Success

Reality: Self-Compassion is More Effective in Success

So, although I tried my best to take care of myself and choose the loving thing and sleep by 12 am, I can’t say I succeeded. I woke up about 30 minutes after I tried to sleep. It was annoying, to say the least. Bored, I ate even though I wasn’t hungry. This was another no-no on my list.

But, I still showed myself compassion. I fucked up, but I know that I tried.

What way have you tried? Do you honor yourself when you try? When you know that you ACTUALLY tried?

I am not talking about faking it to yourself. I am talking about taking the action, and still not succeeding. When that happens, you just gotta choose compassion.

The ego is an annoying part of your brain that is always talking, labeling, ranting. It is the source of limiting beliefs, and it focus on the negative, and start creating identities for you such as: “you can’t do anything” or “you are a loser”. The ego likes identities. Because it wants to be in control. It focuses on the negative, not to hurt you, but to protect you. If you were in the jungle and you ate every fruit without thinking or pet a snake, you would probably die. So the ego is the suspicious part telling you – hey, that may not be a good idea. It is probably poisonous.

But I am pretty sure if you are reading this, you aren’t dealing with poisonous berries and snakes. So learn to hear your ego and then argue with it and shut it up. 

The conversation can go like this:

Ego: You couldn’t stick to your habits! You can never do anything! You are such a loser! How could you not sleep on time?

You: Hey ego.

Ego: Hey!? How are you so casual about this? You are so lazy!

You: Bro, you gotta chill out. I am not in real danger, I won’t die if I don’t sleep on time. Besides, I tried my best.

Ego: But trying your best isn’t enough to keep you alive! You can’t just “try your best” when you eat poison.

You: Yeah but I am not living in a jungle. I am living in my house. So thanks for your concern, but I am going to switch you off now. Nice talking to you.

Boom.
Done.

Conclusion

There are many myths about productivity that you might believe. But the reality is, you are often doing a lot more than you give yourself credit for. And you can still extend compassion and love to yourself, even if you don’t accomplish everything you want. In fact, you must! 

 

So stop being hard on yourself. Take note of your successes. Record your wins every day! Honour what you have accomplished, and fight that stupid negatively biased ego in your head. 

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3 Myths About Productivity and Self-Care (2)

34 thoughts on “3 Myths About Productivity and Self-Love – Are the Two Mutually Exclusive?”

  4. Jayme

    I love the way this is written, myths and truths. I also really sat and unpacked the third point about tough love leading to success. I have grown up that way and have only recently realized that compassion and understand and more beneficial for growth than this “stone face” tough love I have been trying to get by with.
    Thank you!

    1. tanvi.chadha1

      Thank you! I completely understand… a lot of us have been given us that “tough love” as motivation, but it really doesn’t help us as much as encouragement and compassion! I hope you allow yourself to be kinder to yourself, and all the best for this journey! <3

  5. Brie LaPrell

    I love this post! I would love to share my comments on each myth. Myth #1: As a perfectionist, I too used to make excessive to-do lists (for the day, week, month, year, etc.). I thought it was super productive, but every time I wouldn’t finish what was on my list, I would feel absolutely terrible. I tried to change my mindset and celebrate what I did accomplish, but I struggled to be able to do that. I had a conversation with my boyfriend recently about how upset I get when I don’t finish what’s on my list (and how I don’t want to feel that way) and you know what he told me? He said, “well, why don’t you stop making a to-do list?” My thought, ‘Stop making a to-do list?! What?! I have always had a to-do list!’ I asked him “How will I get anything done then?” and he said, you will get done what matters to you. I promise. You will see what you truly enjoy doing and what you have just been forcing yourself to do…he was so right it’s crazy.

    Myth 2: Self-care is NOT easy. Short term satisfaction does NOT beat out long term satisfaction, ever!! I always say to myself “Do what makes you feel good in the long-term, even if that means short-term difficulty (e.g. a hard workout)”

    Myth 3: I LOVE the conversation with ego. We have to remember to ask ourselves “Is what I am stressing about really a big deal when you look at the grand scheme of things?”

    Thanks for the post!

    1. tanvi.chadha1

      I LOVE POINT 1! It’s funny because my boyfriend is the same 😀 He is always telling me “relax, see what you have done”

      I am so glad you enjoyed this post! Makes me so happy! Keep choosing self-love over stress, self-care over instant gratification. <3

  7. Sas

    Cutting myself slack for not completing everything on my to-do list for the day is really something I need to be better about, thanks for the great reminder on the importance of self-care!

    1. tanvi.chadha1

      You are not defined by what you DO! You still deserve your love and compassion! You are so welcome!

  8. Sas

    Thanks for the great reminder on the importance of self-care and cutting yourself some slack when you aren’t perfect!

  10. Amna

    You bring up many important thoughts here. I’ve accepted that I can’t be 100% focused for long periods of time so I have recently tried focusing with short bursts with breaks in between. I’ve also made a playlist of instrumental soundtracks when I am really struggling and need to block out noise. Confession: when I was working from the office one of my colleagues was extremely loud and disruptive, he was always talking. I bought noise cancelling earphones so people knew not to disturb me, haha! Things changed for me once I started being kind to myself and stopped being so difficult. Sometimes I have bad days and I’m lazy – but that’s ok!

    1. tanvi.chadha1

      Thank you! Yes, sometimes it is hard to get out of the habits we are so used to… even though they are harmful.

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  17. Chelsea

    I relate to #1! I was just writing my own post about how defeated I felt when I
    1) did not even create my weekly to-do list and
    2) sure as heck have not been getting things done this week.

    I needed to read this!

  18. Chloe Chats

    Great post! I can be so hard on myself sometimes and like you said for the first point things don’t always go to plan, things crop up and get added to the to do list so you shouldn’t wait to treat yourself to a break just because you haven’t finished your to do list. Love this post, thanks for sharing! xx

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