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Adapting for YOU

We have thousands of articles floating around that claim to tell us the one perfect path or perfect routine to success. In fact, this might be the basis of a large chunk of the self-improvement industry and the advice it offers.

I started reading these in the summer of 2016, after my 2nd year of college, when I really started spending a lot of time on Quora. This was when I really began delving into personal development and self-help. I was fascinated with the ideas that were being spread around. The questions like “What is ONE thing I can do that will change my life” or “What 6 things will improve my life drastically”. 

It was a whole new world, full of excitement and promise. 

And oh boy. I would devour all of this information. I would read article after article, save answers on Evernote, bookmark everything I found, and keep thinking. I would make lists of the things I can do and should do. I really believed there was one perfect routine I must follow, and that was the golden ticket to unicorns and rainbows.

And to be honest, I still sometimes do that. 

As an indecisive perfectionist, I was trying to find the “perfect” routine. And being so indecisive, I wasn’t able to make my mind and choose one routine, or one person’s answer. So I tried EVERYTHING. Everything perfectly. 

And being insecure and extremely under-confident, I always felt like I just WASN’T doing it right if it wasn’t working for me. So, I would go back online, look for more answers, and drown even further in “should’s” and “should not’s”. 

This practice of mine had a lot of problems. 

Save this for later!

Problems: 

1. Not Even a Perfect Routine Is Going to Work If You Aren’t Consistent! 

I was so insecure that I am not good enough or it isn’t working for me that I kept giving up and moving to the next thing. This also had to do with perfectionism because whenever I started doing one thing, I automatically would think, wait maybe the OTHER system is BETTER.

2. Stress Will NOT Help You Improve yourself

Looking back, I realize I had it all wrong. I was trying to improve my life, right? But instead, I was so clearly messing it up! And the biggest reason was STRESS. 

It’s so ironic; you would think self-improvement would help reduce stress, but here I was, creating stress.

Trying to be perfect, I agonized over my routines and self-improvement strategies. I was SO stressed ALL THE TIME.

If I missed a single step, I was STRESSED. If I took 10 minutes instead of 5 on visualization, I got stressed. If I didn’t have time or patience for the 20 steps of my morning routine, I got stressed and started criticizing myself. Which made me even worse than I started. I was so annoyed and always on the edge because I had all these things to do, and obviously, I didn’t have time. And living in dorms at the time, it was annoying because I was so busy and everyone else wasn’t.

So rather than being more CALM because I had a nice routine where i was journaling and being mindful etc, I was like OMG journal? Check. Meditation? Check. Visualization? Check. Affirmations? Check. Check check check.

Stressed about too much to do? Maybe you need to ask these 3 questions.

3. No Mindset Work

I was going about all these self-improvement practices as if it was a checklist for transforming my life. I was acting as if I was cooking a dish called “Perfect Life” and I had to add in all the right ingredients. LOL a checklist for transforming my life? It was all mindset work, but I wasn’t letting myself even change my mindset. I was stuck in the same mindset the whole day. 

I remember in the mornings I would force myself to get up, and sit down for my morning routine, even then feeling deep down that all this seems so pointless. I felt like if I followed this ‘perfect routine’ and did everything, then my life would magically transform. I felt like I was cooking a perfect life, and all these tasks were ingredients. I could just go through the motions every morning and eventually some fairy godmother would come, and POOF, I would be a princess. 

I didnt believe a single affirmation i wrote. I didn’t FEEL good when i visualized. I didn’t do SHIT in my MIND but here I was, using MINDSET shifting techniques, expecting a change. 

Read this article on limiting beliefs and how to shift them!

4. The “Perfect” Routine Trap 

THERE IS NO PERFECT ROUTINE!

Sorry for the Caps. But I wish someone had told me this years ago, when I decided I wanted to take on everything I could see. I was drowning in self-help resources, tips, hacks, and promises. Ultimately, I was so lost that I made a list of all the different things I should be doing in the morning, and it just didn’t make any sense. It was impossible to fit it all in the morning! And because of that, I felt guilty and worthless.

This is a question I asked on Quora: What is better first thing in the morning, yoga, a morning walk, a 7-min exercise, or all? Combined with meditation and journaling, what is the best order?

I wanted to do it ALL when I was starting out! Actually, I thought I HAD to do it all! I thought if I missed one thing, or if I did it in the wrong order, then everything would fall apart, and my life wouldn’t change, and I wouldn’t be successful, and I would just be an average, pointless girl! Can you believe it? I want to shake that 20 year old girl, and say honey! You don’t need to do it all! There is no PERFECT routine. There just isn’t! 

Read how I came to terms with my need to try to do everything recently!

What is the perfect routine for You?

You can wake up at 12 pm.

You can wake up at 4 am.

You can start your day with coffee. Or a green smoothie. Or you can fast till 12 pm. Or you can start with a huge breakfast.

You can meditate, you can journal, you can work out. You can drink water. You can brush your teeth. Girl, do whatever you want first thing in the morning and the last thing before you go to bed. It all depends on what works for YOU.

The perfect routine for you is one that:

1. Aligns with your goals
2. Puts you in the RIGHT mindset.
3. You can stay consistent with
4. Doesn’t stress you out
5. Helps eradicate negativity!

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Align With YOUR Goals

See, if your goal is to lose weight, maybe you should exercise first. If you want to clear your digestive system and insides, and you really care about your internal organs, I would suggest chugging down water, and postponing the caffeine.

If you find that you are too stressed and you lack mental clarity, then maybe you should meditate first.

But if you fall asleep meditating, then first workout and THEN meditate.

If you feel really good working out in the evening and need to focus on work int he morning, then wake up and start working!

Or maybe you feel creative in the morning and like meditating in the evening to unwind and let go of the day’s stress.

Babe, it depends on YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

But here are some tips to create the perfect routine for your self-improvement.

Focus on your Mindset! 

Instead of approaching your routine as a magical checklist, create a routine that focuses on helping you improve your mindset. You can journal, exercise, work, dance, shower, whatever. But the point of each activity should somehow be making your mind a better, happier, healthier place.

Journal. Say affirmations, but BELIEVE them. Don’t journal according to some structure. I used to have a list of questions I believed would lead me to enlightenment if I answered them every single day. By the end of two days I gave up on the whole thing, because there were so many questions and they didn’t really feel right for me.

So, ask yourself, how are you really feeling? See if you can dig deeper. Why are you feeling that way? Is there something bothering you? Why is it bothering you? Can you challenge the negative thoughts and instill positive ones?

Be grateful. Write some affirmations. Write down your goals. Whatever floats your boat.

Do any of this out loud, in the mirror, in your journal, ANYTHING. I am not going to say, oh hey THIS is the KEY to your life! NO! It depends on YOU.

Consistency is Key

Rather than trying to meditate, journal, workout, and study all in one day and then giving up, doing just one thing everyday will result in a lot more growth and improvement in your mindset. So it is okay. Loosen up. You aren’t a robot or a machine. Just do how much feels right 🙂 

Miss Something? Don’t Stress!

Stress leads to bad stuff. Don’t stress. Your routine should help you feel BETTER, not worse. So choose activities that reduce stress. IF they are causing you to stress out, stop. Take a break. And maybe you could ask yourself why they are causing you stress. And see if you can get to the root of that and transform it. 

Dig it OUT!

The key to self-help is to get to the ROOT cause of negativity and dig it out. Whether you do that by exercising, journaling, meditating, creating rituals, dancing, being spontaneous, or having rigid routines, whether you use CBT or manifestation or the law of attraction or behavioral therapy, really it is just getting to know YOURSELF deeper, so you can become aware of and then extract the yucky stuff. And replace it with positivity and unicorns 🙂  

Conclusion

There is no perfect routine. I know there are so many systems and routines that claim they will change your life, but the reality is, they won’t. The perfect routine is the one that is catered for your current goal, that you are doing consistently, and the one that enables you to have the right mindset.

At the end of the day, the best thing for your self-improvement is something that helps you grow every day, even just by 1%. So what will do that for you? Journaling to clear irrational thoughts and emotions? Meditating to calm down and release stress? Exercising to lose some extra weight?

Just think about your goal and create your perfect routine from there 🙂

Pin it for later! You will need to look at this again 🙂