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Did you know that most of what you do and how you act is a result of your subconscious mind?
And your subconscious mind holds on to a lot of limiting beliefs that you aren’t even aware of, which is the reason you aren’t your best badass self yet.
So, what does that mean in your life?
Let me ask you a question.
Do you struggle with succeeding at your goals?
Maybe you want to lose weight but you just aren’t able to.
Maybe you want a promotion or you want to start your business, but somehow things are just not working out.
It seems too difficult and it just isn’t happening.
You try and try and try.
You push yourself.
You lose sleep on it.
You feel like you are always thinking about how to achieve your goal, but the tighter you try to hold onto it, the more it slips out of your hand like sand.
(that rhyme was completely unintentional)
So you feel like maybe it isn’t possible. And you learn to be okay with that.
You resign to your current less-than reality.
But then you look at other people.
They seem to be able to do it.
After all, there are countless stories of people losing 100 pounds or changing their life from poverty to becoming millionaires.
So what is their secret?
Are they blessed with some cosmic force that you just don’t have access too?
Are they just lucky?
Or maybe they worked harder than you did.
But did they really? Do you really believe that everyone who is successful worked their ass off, way more than you?
I mean, everyone has 24 hours in a day, right? So if you worked 24 hours and Bob worked 24 hours then why is Bob a millionaire?
Maybe you have just come to terms with this sad reality: that some things are too good to be true.
That some things just can’t happen to you. That you have to be practical in life. Work hard, earn average, exercise a lot to not gain weight, and float around with your social circle which consists of friends by accident who don’t really feel like your true tribe.
So what is the secret of the people who seem to be able to have it all figured out?
They aren’t limiting themselves.
So the hidden roadblock that keeps pushing you back where you started? Those are your limiting beliefs
Table of Contents
What Are Limiting Beliefs?
Beliefs are stories that your brain assumes to be true. These come from other people (like your parents saying you need to go to Harvard to get a good job and be rich) or from your circumstances (like when rich kids were treated better in school so you associated money with love).
These beliefs can be subconscious or conscious. But the most limiting beliefs are the ones that are ingrained subconsciously.
These beliefs manifest themselves in the way we behave and live our lives. A lot of these beliefs keep us safe. For example, you look before crossing a street. If you see danger, you protect yourself. If you see something that looks like a snake, you will probably run away. If you see someone with scars and missing teeth carrying a gun, you’ll probably assume they’re dangerous.
Limiting beliefs are beliefs that limit your potential. They probably served you once, but now they are holding you back from achieving great things for yourself. Because you believe certain things to be facts, these limiting beliefs stop you from taking action to become your awesome badass self.
Where Did These Limiting Beliefs Come From?
Most beliefs are formed when you were a kid. The reason is that when you are a kid you take everything at face value. Your prefrontal cortex isn’t developed, so you don’t question or challenge thoughts or stories. Like Santa Claus. You just believe in him because you are told he is real.
You can be influenced by parents, teachers, peers, or even TV and books. For example, if you didn’t get good grades in school and your parents punished you, you may believe that you need to be successful to be loved.
Maybe your parents struggled with money and always spoke about how they didn’t have enough. That can form the belief that money is hard to get.
Or maybe your teachers told you that you are bad at English, or your friends told you that you are fat. Or a movie shows a rich guy who gets the girl and the poor guy is alone. All these stories stay in your subconscious and become beliefs.
And later, when you grow older and your prefrontal cortex develops and you start thinking more rationally, your conscious mind may want something but your subconscious mind doesn’t believe you can get it.
“We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.” –Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
This was one of the first self-help books I read My therapist suggested it, so check it out!
Examples of Limiting Beliefs
Here is an example.
Conscious mind: I want to be a millionaire.
Subconscious mind: Money is hard to get. Only a few people can be millionaires and they are just lucky. It isn’t possible for me and you to be that lucky.
And so, you will try to work towards making a lot of money, but your limiting belief that is stuck in your subconscious mind is jus telling you: You can never do it. You can’t succeed. Only very few “other” people can become millionaires.
Conscious mind: I want to make money following my passion.
Subconscious mind: You have to work hard and struggle to earn money. Your hobbies can never make you enough money.
So, you will paint or write a book but you won’t be able to sell anything or earn a living. Because your subconscious is constantly pulling you back.
Other examples:
- People aren’t trustworthy.
- The world is a dangerous place.
- People older than me are always right.
- I am not creative.
- I am not good at math.
- I need a degree in XYZ to be successful at XYZ.
- It is better to avoid conflict than challenge a thought you don’t agree with.
- I need to have money in order to be happy.
- My value as a person is determined by how much I accomplish.
Read why you might need to let go of control and take a break even if you haven’t finished your to-do list. The need to constantly push yourself and keep working in an effort to prove something ALSO stems from a limiting belief.
How Do Limiting Beliefs Have So Much Power?
Your brain is way more powerful than you realize. As Joseph Murphy puts it, in The Power of your Subconscious Mind, your conscious mind is just the captain of the ship. But your subconscious mind is all the manpower. And once it receives an order from your conscious mind (a belief), it follows it automatically, without arguing. The men don’t know where the captain is taking the ship; they just follow orders. If that means accidentally going the wrong way, they will.
Your subconscious mind does not argue. It does not rationalize. Once it accepts a belief or a story, it assumes it to be a fact. This becomes a core belief. And then, your subconscious works on autopilot according to the belief. It alters your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, which change your reality.
“Another simple illustration is this: When you repeatedly say to people, “I do not like mushrooms,” then the time comes for you to be served mushrooms, you get indigestion, because your subconscious mind says to you, “The boss does not like mushrooms.” This is an example probably amusing to you; nevertheless, this is an example of the relationship between the conscious and subconscious mind.”
― Joseph Murphy, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Before we dive into getting rid of your limiting beliefs, I recommend choosing one area of your life you want to focus on. For example, money, health, relationships, etc.
That way, you will be able to dive in much deeper. Rarely is there just one belief associated with a topic. You can be thinking the following about your body:
- I am not flexible enough
- I have a terrible metabolism
- Obesity runs in my family
- I can not lose weight no matter how hard I try
- My medical conditions (thryoid, PCO, etc) make it impossible for me to lose weight
- No matter how hard I try I can’t be thin
- Some people are just born thin
So you see, you can have countless limiting beliefs about just one area of your life. So to really improve that area of your life, you need to address all your limiting beliefs.
1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
Many times your conscious mind has no awareness of the stories your subconcsious mind is holding on to.
Consciously, you want to be successful. You are trying your best to become a famous Youtuber (just a random example). So it makes no sense that your subconscious mind has the exact opposite belief: that you need to be extremely lucky to become very famous and the market is already saturated.
So sit down with yourself, in quiet, and think about it. What are all the hidden ideas that you actually fear.
Some examples of limiting beliefs to get you started:
examples of limiting beliefs
Note: A lot of limiting beliefs are also the route of mental depression and anxiety. This is the basis of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which helps you identify your core beliefs and challenge them.
I haven’t read this book, but I have heard good things about it and plan to check it out. If you don’t want therapy and want to explore how you can use CBT to heal yourself, check this book out by Christine Wilding.
2. Challenge Your Beliefs
Question the belief. Is it really true? Is it a fact?
Is it really impossible for you to lose weight? Do you really have to be rich to be loved? Do you NEED a college degree to succeed in life?
If this is hard for you, find evidence that disproves your belief. You can Google people/situations that have proved this belief wrong. Or, think of experiences in your life where something other than what you believe happened. Use this as inspiration and a reminder that you, too, can succeed.
3. Replace Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you have identified and challenged your limiting beliefs, you can now start working on NEW empowering beliefs!
Instead of saying “I can’t lose weight no matter what I do”, say “If I eat healthy and work out, I will be able to lose weight.”
Instead of thinking, “I am too old to enjoy life”, think “Age is just a number! I can enjoy life every day!”
Rather than saying “I am not worthy because I am not successful” say “I am an awesome, worthy human being no matter what I do”.
Rephrase “I can never be successful” to “I can be successful with the right effort and strategy”.
You get the idea You can do this with any belief of yours!
4. Repeat New Belief
Now that you have created new beliefs that actually serve you, it is time to start absorbing them into your subconscious mind. The best way to do this is repetition.
Repeat your beliefs throughout the day. If you find yourself forgetting to do so, put an alarm on your phone. Repeat the new beliefs before you sleep, because what you think about before you sleep is replayed throughout the night.
Remember, you need to start believing it while you say it. If you find yourself doubting your new belief, remind yourself of the evidence you found that supports it.
Eventually, your subconscious will accept this new belief, and accordingly alter your thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
5. ACT on That New Belief
Now you are ready to act on your new belief. This might be hard at first, but you can do it!
If you used to believe that people find you boring to talk to, act as if you are very confident and outgoing. At the next social gathering, be the one who initiates a conversation!
If you believed you could never lose weight, act as if you already are the person who works out and loses weight. That means, working out today!
These small actions will further help your subconscious fully accept your new belief, and eventually you will become your awesome, best, badass self without any effort!
Conclusion
We all have limiting beliefs. For me, it is that i need to work extremely hard to be successful. And because of this, a lot of times I create busy work that has absolutely no value, just so that I feel I am working. And by the end of the day, I my exhaustion validates me.
What are your limiting beliefs?
Pin for Later!
When I was young (even till now), I was always been told by some friends that I am talentless, egoistic, and pathetic. It made me felt inferior. Now that I am an adult, I totally disagree with their opinion about me. I have built some self-esteem in. Thank you for sharing this tips. I shall use this practice to improve myself better.
You need to let go of these friends! Surround yourself with people who lift you up! I am so glad you have been able to learn to disagree with them! Keep loving yourself! <3
Making the shift takes time but it is well worth it!
That is true! it is uncomfortable and requires effort but it is so important to grow!
Thanks for sharing this awesome and insightful post. I really enjoyed reading.
To be honest, I can be a culprit, even this morning my limiting belief “You will never be successful” I had to change my mindset to “You will be successful if you carry on working hard, working smart and putting in the effort” !.
It is really all to do with your mind, it is a powerful tool and you have to wire it correctly.
– Em x
You are so welcome! i am so happy it helped you out! I have the same problems… even though i wrote this post i have so many limiting beliefs… just this morning i started thinking “I woke up late so this day is so pointless, i won’t have any time” etc etc… but it is all in the mind.
You have pretty much summed it all. This is exactly what my life coach has been telling me! Nice post
Thank you so much! I really hope it helps people
Wow, very well written! I love the how you point out how we consciously and and subconsciously think; many people don’t take that into mind when they set up goals for themselves.
thank you so much! that is so true! We have to rewire our subconscious first, before we can try to achieve goals!
A good read! I could relate to this post about limiting beliefs and the tips were really helpful. Well-written! Thanks for sharing!
you are so welcome! I am glad it could help you out! <3
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A great read. I managed to get rid of many of my limiting beliefs, but there is always something to work on. I love this helpful guide.
i am so glad this helped!
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